I’m sorry for my misgivings and misguided decisions.
I’m sorry that I let my mental trauma and hardship from the past affect my mental health.
I’m sorry you had to deal with me being frustrated.
I’m sorry for cheating on you, and for even thinking about it.
I’m sorry that I didn’t read into things more. I am so sorry
I have never met a woman like you. I never dreamed I’d be able to be with a woman like you. You have never stopped being attractive to me.. I just lost my head and lost sight of what was truly of value. I got arrogant. I was selfish. I was wrong.
You and I both made mistakes. I was immature. I was inexperienced. I was headstrong and stubborn. You showed me the way. I followed your lead more often than not. I wanted so badly to make you think I was worthy. I believed in you, every day. Every hour. I still do.
We almost went the full distance. We almost tied the knot. And now, when I was considering another attempt, things started to slip away.
You tied my hands. You cut me off and wouldn’t let me call. You disappeared and I lost my way. I begged for forgiveness. We made love. We always made love. And now, I couldn’t feel more distant.
I only wanted happiness for you. I wanted to go through life next to you and see what we could see. I wanted to be there when you needed comfort. Buy you things when you couldn’t live without. Take you places and enjoy things with you. I just wanted to spend my time with you. No one else. There were temptations and I was weak. But I’ve learned. And I’m strong now.
I want you. Only you. Forever.
But right now, I don’t know how it could ever be. I don’t know if I’ll ever even see you again. Let alone be in your presence, or smell your beautiful scent, or touch your shining face, run my fingers along and through your hair.. Kiss you.. Hold you.. All of these things. I thought I’d be with you right now. But instead, I am in a car with my weary parents driving towards a place they call home. But my home, has been with you. I feel displaced and burdened with a heavy, confusing task of starting anew, without the woman who promised me she’d be here. Without the gal I loved so hard and so much. Apart from the lady who despite everything I had screwed up, put me before herself. You showed me true love. You stuck with me all that time. You were always good enough. You were more than adequate.
I’m so sorry my love. I’m sorry for making this hard on you. I’m sorry for my role in this. I love you dearly, and I always always will. I wish for another chance.
I forgive you. I forgive myself. I learned. And I have never loved you more than right now.
Signed: Jason William Emert
November 22, 2013